Mother’s Day Thoughts
By Lisa Huycke
Ocean Vuong has written a beautiful collection of Poetry called, “Time Is a Mother.” The poems are his tribute to his mother, who died of breast cancer, and are an attempt to understand his life in the wake of her death. I recently listened to Vuong interviewed on the NPR Fresh Air podcast and wanted to share this powerful work with you. You can listen to and find the transcript here.
Ocean Vuong describes grief as “…perhaps the last and final translation of love,” then adds, “And I think, you know, this is the last act of loving someone. And you realize that it will never end. You get to do this to translate this last act of love for the rest of your life.”
This concept, of grief being the last act of loving someone, really resonates with me. Our love for someone does not end with their death. There are so many aspects of everyday life that remind us of our loved one. We see them in everything we do and are reminded of their absence. The sharp edges of our grief may smooth out over time, but the void remains.
Mothers are our first connection, our role model in all things and set the tone for how we see the world. This may serve as a blessing in our lives or be the measure of how we wish to be different. Either end of the spectrum is very powerful and all encompassing.
I was gardening in my front yard years ago and an older gentleman walked by. He commented on the zinnias growing in my garden and told me that they reminded him of his mother. I could tell that this was a sweet reminder that encompassed much more that the flowers. My own son was just a baby, at the time, and I remember thinking I hoped he remembered me as fondly when he saw something so simple and ordinary as a zinnia.
As Mother’s Day approaches, many of us will ache with the absence of our mothers. We will remember her love and care or may feel conflicted by the complexity of this relationship. We may not have the words to express the feelings that surround our mothers and this day we set aside to honor them. I hope This interview with Ocean Vuong and his latest work, “Time Is a Mother” helps to express the collective grief we feel when we lose our mothers.
